It was just a sliver, but it was there. It has been a while. It did not stay long but it came. I welcomed it with a smile.

The sun has reappeared in my room. It has returned from its long journey south and has found its way back. It has not yet returned to the North but it will in a matter of a week or so.

Spring is not yet here but the signs of Spring have come. The sun has returned for the warming months. After a long and wet winter it is a welcomed morning friend. Over the days and weeks and months it will come in more and stay longer, taking a while to find comfort. Then it will begin to slip away, far away, until it is out of sight from this perspective, beginning the cycle all over again.

This morning I am feeling the exhaustion of being involved in something far beyond my capabilities, yet there because it is not me but the Spirit in me who has called me out. My mortal self can be a friend, share a moment of grief, and of hope. The Spirit part of me can say something wise, something helpful, and be a push towards right and good. But, that latter side is beyond me even if it is me, leaving me exhausted of soul.

So, I see myself this morning and take stock of that not letting my exhaustion and creeping depression lie to me overstrong. I ask when will it be my time to find real fruit. I wonder when the time will come when I am not just poured out. I wonder if there will be a person, or season, or something which pours into my soul and fills me when I am emptied. But, as I’ve learned there’s danger in this desire as much as hope, so I trust that God knows his business.

A glass of cool water in this parched land would be quite welcomed indeed. But, there is only obedience and pursuing the calling of Christ in my whole being. And no one ever said this is an easy path. It’s a glorious path, not an easy path. For all our intuition must be thrown out at times to do what is right and good and holy, and help us to see that what we are supposed to be is not in us but above us. This is humility, and real humility is the hardest lesson of all to learn.

Blessed be the poor in spirit.

The day is perfect. The birds are singing with delight. Ravens fly over with sticks and brush and other items in their beaks beginning to form their great bowl of a nest in some tall coniferous tree, most likely a cedar. Squirrels gambol about, the chipmunks sit on the woodpile swishing their tails taking in the sun. A cool breeze blows, massaging the trees and filling the mind.


May Spring be here. We are in need of Spring, we all are in need of Spring.