Learning to Dance

Explorations in the Spiritual Life

Date: March 3, 2005

Evening

There’s no doubt. The weather is a wee bit confused. The fog rolls in, the fog rolls out. Plan for a nice bit of time in the sun, and it’s nowhere to be seen. Sit inside and the sun comes out again. All day long the weather changed, often in an instant. I was reminded of Elijah. “What do you see?” “A small cloud in the distance.” “It is a great storm!”

Well, it wasn’t a storm, just the intimations of such, and now late in the evening it has decided for fog once more over the stars. Like I’ve said, I’m one for dramatic weather, so this is nice. I welcome it in fact, much more than the heat of the summer.

I was distracted most of this day, not finding anything to keep my focus, except for a small bit of reading which just happened to discuss the spiritual realities of not finding one’s focus for overlong and the dangers of wasting time during those times.

The bother of reading that comes from the fact I found it in Makarios of Egypt, one of the true greats of the Christian life… possibly one of the biggest influences in John Wesley’s thought. So, I can’t just go and dismiss it as being frivolous Christianese. It spoke of idleness while I was idle, though the kind of idleness of a waiting car more than the kind of idleness of a dissolute reprobate.

I was a little unfocused, full of too much energy, happy but bothered at the same time. And the day slipped away from my grasp.

But, the wonderful thing, one of the best realities of the Spiritul journey is that there is always tomorrow, and tomorrow will always be that much closer to the goal.

Evening

There’s no doubt. The weather is a wee bit confused. The fog rolls in, the fog rolls out. Plan for a nice bit of time in the sun, and it’s nowhere to be seen. Sit inside and the sun comes out again. All day long the weather changed, often in an instant. I was reminded of Elijah. “What do you see?” “A small cloud in the distance.” “It is a great storm!”

Well, it wasn’t a storm, just the intimations of such, and now late in the evening it has decided for fog once more over the stars. Like I’ve said, I’m one for dramatic weather, so this is nice. I welcome it in fact, much more than the heat of the summer.

I was distracted most of this day, not finding anything to keep my focus, except for a small bit of reading which just happened to discuss the spiritual realities of not finding one’s focus for overlong and the dangers of wasting time during those times.

The bother of reading that comes from the fact I found it in Makarios of Egypt, one of the true greats of the Christian life… possibly one of the biggest influences in John Wesley’s thought. So, I can’t just go and dismiss it as being frivolous Christianese. It spoke of idleness while I was idle, though the kind of idleness of a waiting car more than the kind of idleness of a dissolute reprobate.

I was a little unfocused, full of too much energy, happy but bothered at the same time. And the day slipped away from my grasp.

But, the wonderful thing, one of the best realities of the Spiritul journey is that there is always tomorrow, and tomorrow will always be that much closer to the goal.

morning

The sky was bright blue when I first sat down to write this earlier. I was called to other tasks before I could start, and while outside I watched the blue disappear. The sky became overcast again, and soon after the overcast skies lowered down to the ground, with a cloud not thirty feet above the ground sitting there still. Not unlike the squirrel on the rail of my balcony… except for the eating seed bit. The squirrel that is. He seems content.

I got inspired to write anew yesterday, but it seems the inspiration is going towards other unfinished tasks which had built up during my time of mental clog. I also realize there are curious beacons of contact in my life right now… where I am inspired because of certain people or events, even before I know they will call or something happens.

I think that is a marker of something. Only I’m not sure of what, except that such things, and people, are good to have around. Fleeing from the shadows in one’s life means embracing that which shines light… even if from curious directions and distances.

Because the wanderings of the spiritual life are not a straight road. It is a twisting and turning path to ascend the mountain. The highway to hell is the straight, eight lane thoroughfare. It is easy to get lost on the mountain trail, especially when the fog rolls in. So, God puts signs up, and people around who may be just as lost, but they are lost in different ways, so together all can move forward.

The trick is to find the folks who are ascending and stick with them, and help them, and listen to them. Plus, such people or signs generally fill the heart with delight and joy from heaven itself. And that is a lovely feeling indeed.

Morning

The sky was bright blue when I first sat down to write this earlier. I was called to other tasks before I could start, and while outside I watched the blue disappear. The sky became overcast again, and soon after the overcast skies lowered down to the ground, with a cloud not thirty feet above the ground sitting there still. Not unlike the squirrel on the rail of my balcony… except for the eating seed bit. The squirrel that is. He seems content.

I got inspired to write anew yesterday, but it seems the inspiration is going towards other unfinished tasks which had built up during my time of mental clog. I also realize there are curious beacons of contact in my life right now… where I am inspired because of certain people or events, even before I know they will call or something happens.

I think that is a marker of something. Only I’m not sure of what, except that such things, and people, are good to have around. Fleeing from the shadows in one’s life means embracing that which shines light… even if from curious directions and distances.

Because the wanderings of the spiritual life are not a straight road. It is a twisting and turning path to ascend the mountain. The highway to hell is the straight, eight lane thoroughfare. It is easy to get lost on the mountain trail, especially when the fog rolls in. So, God puts signs up, and people around who may be just as lost, but they are lost in different ways, so together all can move forward.

The trick is to find the folks who are ascending and stick with them, and help them, and listen to them. Plus, such people or signs generally fill the heart with delight and joy from heaven itself. And that is a lovely feeling indeed.

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