For whatever reason it seems a cheery morning, squirrels are active, jays are busy, chickadees exploring, flying bugs all around. The sky is fully blue, not a hint of white. There is a breeze, but only just.
The monks had a lot to say about sin, and not in the way generally thought. Overcoming human frailty was their profession and so they made an art of the progress. One of those areas in which they discussed was the culpability of unconscious or half-conscious sin where dreams or wandering thoughts open up parts of our being which we generally cover up in regular life. They came to the conclusion these are not necessarily culpable sins, but rather indicators, revealing what is hidden beneath and showing the real state of our being.
I say this because I have noted these last couple of weeks have not been the highlight of my spiritual questing. And yet, this morning, I noticed my mind eagerly wandering to beautiful fields, where I rise above my conscious state rather than descend. I lie half awake with thoughts of heaven intruding, revealing to me where my heart lies, even if I have not yet learned to make the eternal my permanent residence.
Progress is being made, slowly, a drop at a time filling up a swimming pool. It is however an important thing to realize the progress, and celebrate it when noticed. We get too bogged down in our appropriate considerations of mistakes and constant failings it becomes difficult to see how we really are better, how we are getting healthier.
God is at work, and while I am not the best of servants quite yet, I am happy to note when I participate in his work.
Even, especially, at times in which I release the burden on him, and let my heart float free for a little while.
Monday, though, I think I’ll get back into a more disciplined rhythm.