It’s a holiday weekend, or one could say in these mountains it is the holiday weekend. Every house is full, lights on, various noise and confusion rising upwards from occasional visitors descending onto the mountain, without the appropriate mountain demeanors.

It is a beautiful nice despite the various assertions, the stars peak out of scattered clouds, a light breeze gives texture to the warm summer evening air. Sitting out for a long while on the deck, absorbing the beauty, gazing at ravens and family bedding down for the night. It is good for the soul. Indeed, it is true, we choose whether or not to be jarred, and tonight I chose not.

Indeed the same was true for most of the day. Occasional bursts of irritation were settled by choices for more soothing directions. And so I continued my quest to overthrow the impasse.

There is an interesting quality to this, because my being here to begin with was meant as a way of finding spiritual fruit and life, yet even with this pursuit I get caught going too far down fruitless trails. It is the case sometimes, I suppose, as the Abbas said, that just because we are pursuing spirituality full time it does not mean we are pursuing it rightly. Putting on the show isn’t equated with being enough. It has to be the right course, the way towards Christ, which can be lost even, especially, when we are focused on that pursuit overmuch.

So, again I step back, and in releasing the strain seek to get a view which has been lost, to refocus and reinvigorate the call.

Yes, it would be easier it seems in a truly isolated environment. But it would be less real. And likely less of an exercise for true growth