I awoke and it was dark. I awoke again and it was very bright. Beautiful day, perfect one might say, a light breeze accenting the warm Spring sun. Ravens are flying through the trees.

There are times in which one has to tell a story over and over again to different people who are interested. Especially when a big decision is made or some kind of traumatic event occurs.

That was my night last night. Not in reality did I have these conversations, they were in my dreams. I don’t usually dream, or at least I very rarely am aware of my dreams. Visions and meaningful dreams are not among my gifts. Last night, though, it seemed I dreamed all the night, the same dream, in different contexts. I kept having to explain myself, not with bitterness or frustration, just with the kind of optimistic hope that I generally do in reality. At two thirty my dog barked, waking me up and getting me up. From that point on I was restless in mind, if not in body, and ended up feeling emotionally drained from having slept.

Needless to say, my enthusiasm of yesterday is depleted a bit, all because of an overactive mind at rest. I feel like I’ve spent hours in a crowd, and need to recharge through quiet and solitude. Only I haven’t, which leads to conflicting feelings. I’m not sure what to do with this, since the source of my irritation has only minor import it seems. Who’s to say. It just is another day in which my self motivation seems somewhat stalled, and I would like a purpose outside myself to motivate me up and out.

Nothing has changed, though, so I deal with what I have, and pray for happier dreams tonight.