And so I did. A beautiful morning. Cirrus clouds framed in blue were painted on the calm lake. When I turned I saw the mountains rising low in the water, colorful, clear as reality. A ripple of wind made the image impressionist, scattered colors, mixing orange and reds, blues and greens together. The clouds were like wispy trees growing like roots, to the bottom.
Vultures followed me for a time.
Now, the question is whether this indeed was a solution to a spiritual issue. It was. For physical activity mixed with solitude and silence. While my arms and shoulders moved in steady rhythm, my lips and heart prayed for wisdom and peace. The outdoors, beneath the sky, breathing in natural air, listening to the variety of birds, seeing how the sand beneath the water collects in waves. This is more effective a way of turning my heart than sitting in a dark auditorium singing repetitive, though well meaning songs. For in the outside I do not participate in man made things, but envelop myself amidst that which speaks of the Creator, wrapped in his words of himself, which speak to heart and soul and being.
And in doing this, I become, once again, better able at speaking back. For having listened I can add my own words, joining in with the song that plays throughout eternity, letting my voice contribute to the rhythm and melody.
So, yes it was effective, and the balm to my earlier ill. My eyes were returned to the goal, my heart listened again to the quiet whisper of the wind. Nothing was solved, nothing was answered, only my focus was regained, and that was God’s wish for me today. Now quiet and still, I sit feeling a taste of the energy, though without the destructive anxiety.
I am closer tonight than this morning. That is all that matters. Acedia is a liar. And must be fought with faith, of course, and action, letting the body’s own resources fight the battle within. It was medicine for my soul, and I thank God for the opportunity. An odd thing, as regularly as I do this, there are special times going out takes on a spiritual meaning. For that I give thanks. All is well.