morning

When I first awoke it was very quiet out. My wind sock rustled in the wind, though I could barely see it. Not much can be seen or heard at 2:30 in the morning. I woke with an urge to pray for various friends, and to read some Cassian and even a text on salvation - another friend has been asked questions about God and salvation and the wider world, so I thought it would be good to brush up. I know the questions I ask, but the other questions which I have not asked in a while force me to go into the mental files and bookshelves. I didn’t stay awake very long, some more cold medicine put me back to sleep about two hours later.

Now, roofers are doing their job at a house nearby, while a chickadee chirps sweetly in a nearby tree. It is another Spring like day in the mountains, and if not completely devoid of human noise, it is thoroughly beautiful out.

I feel like I’ve done my part with the website design, having given two days to its management and arrangement. Now, I can focus on my regular updates, without worrying about particulars of look or navigation. I do not know if there are many of us around, but I have a strong feeling that this website is part of my spiritual disciplines, urging me forward, keeping me accountable, and maybe, just maybe, helping me interact with a wider community, whose names I mostly do not know. The Spirit surely does, so all I can do is my part.

I’ve found myself reading the great texts again, spurred by the ability to respond. That is what I notice about myself, I have a hard time doing for the sake of doing. I want to interact, to see my efforts go to something constructive, even if it is what is now a hidden little spot in a wider web world. I love ministry, to be honest, to provide resources and thoughts spurring others on. Given my hermit like status these days the opportunities are limited for such a passion. Though through all of this I can at least feel like I am doing a part. Who knows what God will make of anything I do? All I know is to do those tasks before me at each moment, not worrying about the bigger picture. He provides the daily bread. And I can rest in him, doing what he asks, however peculiar or different. It’s how we learn to ride the waves of the Spirit in our lives, and such a ride has no comparison in this life.