morning

A jay screeched loud on my balcony early this morning, waking me up, though not making me alert. A cool breeze rustles the branches, I can’t see very well. Outdated glasses give rest to my eyes, but don’t really help me see. Oh well, I guess I’ll read throughout the day.

My headache lingers, becoming worse through the night, to the point where I thought if it did not ease I would have to go to the doctor. Thoughts of brain tumors and the like came to mind, the piercing, biting of every movement keeping me from moving. I drank water, seeing if I was dehydrated. I took more excedrin, popping four at 2 AM, and used some nasal spray, for my sinuses felt like the problem. Something worked, and I feel, if not great, then at least better. The greats said that illness was its own discipline, that those afflicted with bodily problems weren’t as needing the rest of the disciplines, for spirituality with illness is a great battle of itself. One day of a headache is not really enough for me to claim this path, though it does bring it to mind. Because we are sick is not an excuse to forgo our spiritual lives, though it does alter them in ways which too often people do not accept.

My reflections on yesterday continue, having been lost through an early bedtime last night. I had a very enjoyable day, full of good fun and community (as Christian lingo might say). There is a sense in the Church, or at least among many I know, to deprecate aspects of community. Family is this aspect. I have known many fine people in my life, greats of the faith, and I happen to be the son of two people I respect extremely highly. Their faith and wisdom in spiritual matters is always instructive. And yet, I have to defend myself at times when I say that they form a vital part of my spiritual community. I honestly don’t get it. I trust and respect their education and insight more than most full time pastors I have ever known, so going to them for prayer or wisdom is perfect sense. There is no benefit to interacting with those whose lives speak less only because they are of an acceptable status.

The Christian life is not a game to be played. It is serious, life and death. And because of this, community must be found where there are those who best help to spur one onwards. There is, I guess, a benefit to going down with the ship together, but not one I wish to pursue. I want to win this fight, not give it the ol’ college try and console companions how it’s too hard a journey, but at least we have each other. Casting off anything that binds, I take hold of those things which give a boost, which provide answers, wherever they may be found.

That all being said, the long drive with my pop was very encouraging and needed. The day with he and my brother was fun and valued. I thank God for my family and for the wisdom which is in those with whom I share my name.

Now, if I could just get rid of this headache once and for all, I’d be a happy boy.