morning

A little hazier today, though no clouds. Early birds came for seed, singing and screeching. Dogs barked before the sun rose. Trillings songs, chirps, whistles, and the occasional raven croak filled the morning air, until the concrete truck with its large revolving drum, so mystifying to young eyes, came to lay down a new driveway for a neighbor. Now, all the forest noises are drowned by urban sounds. The lovely thing about the mountains, though, is that by four all will be quiet again. The branches seems sparser in the bright sun I notice, the tree seeming so full in blocking the stars, barely hides anything now. All activity of bird or beast has stilled, no movement, but for a single fly can be seen.

I feel unfocused. Though I do not know if this is only because I am differently focused. My new home on the web takes some time and effort. Thoughts of expansion, of possibilities, fill my head, changing the course of my creativity away from those things which I know are my primary calls. And yet, this is important. So, maybe I am focused as I should, for now, able to spend a day doing what I continue to feel is an outlet the Spirit is leading me down. It is easy to let go of the other now, too easy. My creative writing of the focused sort has retreated recently, lost in a cold, frustrated by a block. What is needed is perseverance, breaking through the barriers with dogged determination. So easy not to do when distractions, some important and good, arise.

I take stock today of my goals and end, determining what is of primary value for my time. With this I pray, knowing that grace comes strong on those tasks we are meant to pursue, and it is lost in those things which only serve to divert. We can struggle and slog for a long time, unaware that God wishes us not to, wishes us to go where grace leads, where our hearts and minds can be buoyant even under strain. To walk the trails of a grace filled life, stepping only those places which allow us to stay in sight of heaven, that is the goal. Only the sharpest eyes can see these steps, though, so I know I too often misstep and sink. Well, we’ll see how all this goes today, where it all goes. I feel peace in the moment, a prayer forming on my tongue. Maybe I just need to rest in God, and not worry about the movement of time.